I surrender!

When I think of the word surrender, I automatically picture a white flag. Normally being waved by a coward, in a foxhole or hiding behind something, because everything around him is collapsing and most everyone he knows has left or been taken from him. Only when I picture this, do I realize the power of the word.

At first I thought surrendering to God is something I only have to do once, you know, just a one time thing. Now I know I was wrong.  Initially, the surrender is easy, accepting Jesus as your savior, inviting him into your life, and confessing you are helpless with out Him. So the story goes.

When I try to explore deeper into my faith, it seems I have to  surrender every time I turn around.  I find an endless list of imperfections and flaws in myself, that I can't look past without surrendering more to Jesus.  I suppose it is because I am stubborn and prideful, and I can only let go a little at a time. My human imperfections blind me of just that, my imperfections.

Admitting defeat, (each time I have to) glorifies the Lord, renewing, and strengthening the true awesomeness of his love, power and forgiveness. So, although I might be weak, I may be a coward, daily I will wave my white flag. My flag not only shows my weakness, but also glorifies the Lord.

I am no longer afraid to be powerless, and to wave my flag. I invite you, young or old, new Christian or a “life long veteran”, black or white, male or female, to wave your white flag with me. What a beautiful way to glorify our Father!

What a day!

I am mentally and emotionally drained. All I can say, is "WOW!"

Life in 16 bit.

Everything seems to be going well. I don't have a lot to complain about. My relationship with Jesus is growing by the day. My baptism is in one week. The list goes on. Yet, I still feel like Mario.



Let me explain.



The first video game Mario appeared in was Donkey Kong. The idea of the game, was to climb ladders, and incline planes, to eventually rescue to princess. The obstacles included, rolling barrels to dodge, the farther up you get, the faster and closer together the barrels seem to roll. About a quarter of the way up, you can grab a hammer, smashing anything in your way, making you virtually unstoppable.

I have a confession, I don't believe I have ever beaten the first level of that game. Probably, the only game that I can say that about. So, I have no clue what comes next. If anything.



That's how I feel now. See, starting off it was easy. Just started going to church, and enjoying myself learning. And then I grabbed the first ladder, I was saved. It got a little more difficult after that, a few more barrels to jump, but nothing I couldn't handle. Just when it started to get a little more difficult, I jumped up and grabbed that hammer. Nothing, and I mean nothing could stop me. I felt invincible.



To climb the next ladder, you have to put down the hammer. (which I think could be translated metaphorically about a hundred different ways the beginning of someone's Christian faith.) Jumping more barrels, or questions, and getting them answered, I am approaching another ladder, this ladder, I suppose is my baptism. In the world of Donkey Kong, I think this is about as far as I have ever gotten, on the plane with Donkey Kong, but never rescued the princess, and it's because of nervousness.



Now, if you've ever played any video game at all, you know, when you are almost done with a level, or about to score that touchdown with three seconds less, or fighting the final boss, you know the feeling I'm about to describe. The controller is sweaty, your heartbeat is rising rapidly, and for some reason, you seem more prone to mistakes.



I know, in my heart, that I am going to make it past the baptism, and further my relationship with Jesus. But, in Donkey Kong, I don't know what's next, nor do I in faith. It's scary, my palms are sweaty, my heartbeat is rising rapidly. What if I am more prone to mistakes?



I guess that's as far as the Donkey Kong metaphor can take me. And the questions in my heart never seize. A struggle that you don't know any answers to, is probably the most difficult to overcome. I know I will overcome this fear, or, uneasiness.



I just wish I knew what the next level was.



Is that for me to decide? No. I'll leave this one up to God, do what he says, and I know I'll be fine. I bet, that's something Mario never thought of.



Man, God is good!